Edited By Carol A. Wiley
Published By Frog Ltd. 1995
One Instructor’s Journey
By James R. Garrison
Then said a teacher, speak to us of teaching.
And he said:
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the
dawning of your knowledge.
The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple
among his followers , gives not of his wisdom, but rather of his faith and his
lovingness.
If he is indeed wise, he doesn’t bid you enter the house of his wisdom,
but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.
–Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Individuals begin the study of martial arts for as many reasons as there are students. Martial artists evolve into teachers of the martial arts as a result of a series of circumstances.
My martial arts journey began in 1956, at the age of thirteen. The reason I wanted to start martial arts training was simple: I wanted to be the toughest kid on the block. The early years of my training were consistent with this philosophy. Non–Asian instructors often had a similar philosophy, while Asian instructors were suspicious of non–Asians who wanted to train. The motivation that kept me training past the point of needing to become a better fighter has kept me training for the past thirty–seven years.
When I began the martial arts quest, I viewed training in the same way I viewed life and people. My focus was mostly ego-driven – what I wanted would make me feel better about myself. As I continued to train, I developed a sincere attachment to my instructors and training partners. Because of this “maturing” attitude, I began to realize the capacity we possess to emotionally grow and develop. This insight came gradually, but was consistently an intense experience.
My move from the state of Washington to Portland, Oregon to train with a very special martial arts instructor not only opened many avenues for my training but also increased my understanding of the true nature of martial arts training. Training in Portland, I obtained work as a consultant with law enforcement and security agencies. I was able to develop self-confidence by giving countless demonstrations and talks on the aiki principles in personal development. When it was time to go to Vietnam I obtained letters of introduction, because of my instructor, to the most prestigious training halls in Asia. My understanding of true martial arts training became clearer as I was exposed to instructors who lived a life of awareness and compassion.
Thirty-seven years later, two tours of Vietnam, many excursions to Asia, and a deep relationship with three martial arts instructors have brought me to the place where I am now in my life. I never intended to become a martial arts instructor; nor did I particularly want to become one. I have evolved from a recalcitrant adolescent and young man to an individual who at fifty is beginning to fully appreciate the meaning of the spiritual and physical coordination intrinsic to the essence of martial arts training.
In the spirit of humility, an intrinsic element of Bushido,
is removed from the teaching of classical martial studies, the lack of this
important virtue makes such studies mere systems of violence.
–Nitobe, The Sword and the Deity
After much encouragement from my instructors, I opened my own martial arts program twenty–five years ago. The years of being owner and operator of a martial arts program have taught me many things. The most important is that martial arts training has endured for reasons other than people’s need for fighting skills. With the advent of modern weaponry, fighting skills beyond pushing a button or pulling a trigger are virtually unnecessary, especially in the United States and Europe.
The essence of my experience as an instructor has been to learn how to develop deep love and affection for people. The more I have worked on myself f in my training, the more I understand what O–Sensei, the founder of Aikido, meant when he wrote, “when you become the center of the universe, there is no conflict there.” For years I thought this statement sounded narcissistic, but as I work with students it becomes clear that the reason for training has not changed throughout history. We train to learn the part of use that is deep inside. We know it is there; we want to explore; but we are also very intimidated by what “it” is.
The nature of a good instructor is to have a deep understanding of self. This does not mean that instructors have all the answers – good instructors are skilled at asking questions and are aware of the ongoing need to explore the answers to these questions.
Instructors tend to see what they teach as being “the right way.” Yet a good instructor must allow students to look like themselves. Students must not become mini–instructor look-alikes. Training and teaching must be honest. Instructors must be constantly aware of projecting their own feelings onto others.
To find a way of life
one must be guided.
––Warner and Sasamor, This is Kendo
Those who sincerely choose to be teachers most often do so with the expectation that they will be able to impart their life experience and years of disciplined training to willing, eager students. I was naïve as most would–be instructors. I expected that when I opened Pacific Rim Martial Arts Academy, with my instructor’s blessing and knowing look, students would be willing to accept the hours of training, physical stress, and discipline required to be successful, and would understand that in several years their expectations would be met.
In addition, I truly believed that each student, without being asked, would gladly attend regularly and contribute financially for the privilege of this training. I only required dues payment to cover school rent, utilities, and supplies. I was surprised at how many excuses students had for not paying dues. It was hard to believe that students who expressed such sincerity and dedication concerning practice felt they should get special consideration due to this “sincerity and dedication.” I was disappointed not only at what I felt was a lack of caring for me as an instructor but also lack of respect for what I was teaching. It was disappointing to watch students with immeasurable talent quit training. I became impatient with the many excuses students gave for “failing” to continue their training.
I experienced disappointment, confusion, and self–doubt. For several years my frustration grew, yet my determination to keep teaching was encouraged by my own teachers. The confidence my instructors showed me was based on their trust in my ability to display my caring for people. I was committed to proving that what was taught to me was valuable and a true legacy to society. Ever so slowly, quality students who understood what was evolving at Pacific Rim began to assert themselves.
Those who are firm and inflexible
a re in harmony with dying.
Those who are yielding and receptive
a re in harmony with living.
The position of the highly inflexible will descend.
The position of the yielding and receptive will ascend.
–Lao–Tse, Tao Te Ching #76 2
During the early times of teaching, I relied on what my instructors had taught and continued to teach me. Most often this teaching was more about the lessons of life than about martial arts techniques. As a psychotherapist, I have had the opportunity to study with many knowledgeable psychologists. However, I have received the best training in the psychology of people and social psychology from my martial arts instructors.
I learned the expectations and customs of many cultures and religions. I have watched an participated in situations where communication skills and tactics were essential for psychical survival. Grandmaster S.C. Kim allowed me to travel with him throughout Asia. We spent hours discussing human nature, spirituality, and the concept of God.
I have found my martial arts instructor to possess knowledge beyond what is the norm for academia. True martial arts instructors possess a knowledge with intense depth. The discussions we have had over the years have provided the type of learning no graduate school could even understand, let alone replicate. In addition, this learning has been provided in a forum only possible in a martial arts context.
I have had a few live-in students. I developed a fondness for them, but after a year or two other interests and normal developmental issues faced by young adults required that they chose to move on. When this occurred, my emotions ranged from heartbreaking disappointment to anger and frustration.
Perceive purity;
Embrace simplicity;
Limit desire.
–Lao–Tse, Tao Te Ching # 19
Eventually, with much guidance from my instructors, I began to see that my frustration and anger were the result of my need to prove myself to myself. I had thought that I was paying homage to my instructors. I knew that I had gained priceless experience and knowledge from them. I also knew that I had a responsibility to share this experience and knowledge. By teaching what I have been taught, the knowledge will be preserved. With each new generation, the concept of honor and integrity, the function or martial art and the life training will be transmitted. Those waiting to improve the quality of life from themselves and society will be the beneficiaries of my instructors’ wisdom.
This insight changed my teaching. I began to allow students to learn and grow, with my assistance. In addition, I learned that delayed gratification is not only a valued concept but also contains significant emotional rewards.
Those who lack belief
Will not in turn be believed.
–Lao–Tse, Tao Te Ching #23
Over the years, I have promoted few students to black belt level. After over fifteen years, more than three–fourths of those students are still training, or if they have moved, regularly keep in touch.
In the early years, students often left practice feeling that the rules at Pacific Rim were too strict. Today however, many have returned; some waited over ten years. On their return, each has expressed how the principles of the martial arts they learned helped them through their difficult times.
Hold to your ethics and principles
And do not for a moment consider
compromising what you believe to be right.
Acting with integrity is the key.
–I Ching #29
The community where I live is small by today’s standards, and each week I meet a former student. I have forgotten their names, but I remember their faces. When I see them, I feel fondness and deep caring. Most are grown, have their own families, and have long since moved away from the idea of training. Yet their desire to train remains. Each of them recounts the importance of that time in their life when training was of utmost importance.
A deeper understanding of the connection between the past and present has begun to materialize for me. I am beginning to understand at a deeper level what my teachers repeatedly attempted to convey to me. The essence of teaching is the belief that the principles of martial arts training have a meaning beyond the physical or cognitive. Teaching, and the desire to teach, are based on love and on a conviction of the innate goodness of the human race.
Within the self there is a central force of character
that unifies thoughts and actions.
When you are not in accord with your goals,
you may feel indecision, conflict, or malaise;
When you are, a sense of self confidence and
well–being will surround you.
–I Ching #45
I choose to teach because I believe that life is a journey of self–exploration.
Teaching gives back the information and direction found in self-exploration.
To keep the martial arts heritage alive, we must not separate the knowledge
of the past and present. The instructor is the guide in this self-exploration,
and must continually learn and give back that which is so precious – the
gift of positive personal growth.
